he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I enjoy the company of your penis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
