why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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