Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
