Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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