TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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