using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
