Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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