as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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