if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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