suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
