so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize
