i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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