You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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