I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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