Where is the hickey?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm passing your future prison.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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