i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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