My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
