butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
