i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
