you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
