I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
