i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
