so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
