so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
