I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
