Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Ladies don't puke and tell
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
