Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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