There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
