Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
