the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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