just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We are two peas in an std pod
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
