thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
