now i know why i became what i already was.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I would fuck him just for his dog
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
