so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
