I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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