Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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