He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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