Please, let me fuck your mom
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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