Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
