if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
