Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
