I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
