i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
