Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
