is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
