Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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