I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
