It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't turn off my feet"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
