okay pat passed out under dana's car
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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