I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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