My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
