Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
